BREAK & My Last Few Weeks/Months, PART 2

All week I've been waiting for it to be today at 2pm. At last, it is upon us. School's out for 2 weeks. Whoo-hoo! The only crappy thing is that since I'm paid on a day-to-day basis, I don't, technically, get paid for these 10 days. But, you know what? At this point, I don't really care. I'm just glad to be out of there.

Am I enjoying the job? Well, the last month or so has been kind of rough and has shown me that being a classroom teacher is probably not what I'm best suited for. It's really pushing me in the direction of the Library Sciences program. When San Jose State goes back to school at the end of January, I'm going to request a Monday off from Bryant and go down there to check things out. I'm also planning on getting my IU and SFSU transcripts together in a couple of weeks, and will try my darndest to get the whole program application together. It isn't technically due until March, but there is no penalty for getting it done and in early. I'm telling you, EVERY TIME I walk past the library [which is MULTIPLE times a day], and every time I talk to the librarian [which is multiple times a day], I think, "Damn, THAT'S where I want to be." I can't handle a class everyday all day. I need time to myself to work on projects that I deem necessary. I've often thought that I would like to work for myself somehow - often times the dream revolved around my owning and running my own music store. Well, being in a library will be close to that - I'll have my own room to do with and organize as I see fit.

A lot of my time at Bryant so far has been working on little projects. Stuff like taking pictures, mounting the pictures on colored construction paper, laminating them, and then creating a bulletin board in a public space. There were also a couple of weeks at the beginning of November where I spent my days in various teachers' rooms helping them redo outdated bulletin boards, getting their rooms ready for some big district walkthrough. LOVED IT. I made signs, rearranged posters, posted student writing samples, etc. More than once, a few teachers said things to me like, "I'm sorry that you have to do this stuff," and, "This is SO not the best use of you. I mean, you're a credentialed teacher!" But, you know what? It's THAT stuff - those kinds of projects - that I enjoy most about the job. The principal has labeled me the official photographer and school art director.

One of the rooms that I had to work on during those two weeks before the walkthrough was Miles's old room. HONESTLY, I was there for 10 minutes or so handing up student artwork and I had to take a break and leave the room. It was just too painful to be in there. I'm not saying that the woman who got MY job is a bad teacher, but that room SO doesn't have ANY of the spirit, kick, life, or color that Miles's room had - and that I would've given it. There was just this depressing vibe in there and I couldn't take it. Kids were singing while they should've been working, fighting, yelling, running around the room, and they were, like, gluing pinto beans onto paper. Miles [and I] NEVER would've been caught dead doing something so... so... juvenile. He didn't treat his kindergarteners like they were babies - they never did such silly busywork. He treated them like they were capable of SO much more. I don't know, I guess I shouldn't be complaining, because I just got done saying that I don't really want my own classroom anyway.

P.E. time still sucks. I don't know what to do. The kids are just monsters when they come to me and they REFUSE to follow directions or show me any amount of respect. It's completely frustrating. I went to see the Trashcan Sinatras last weekend [GREAT SHOW] and the opening act guy was up there doing a great job... to a somewhat uninterested audience. I just wanted to yell out, "Shut up! Show this guy some frreakin' respect. He's not up there to entertain himself." I TOTALLY knew what he was going through, though. I find myself in a number of classrooms where I'm up there teaching and there are kids that just REFUSE to pay attention. They're carrying on conversations and I have to, literally, get in their faces and say, "Um, hi. Can you listen for me, please?" But, while I'm addressing one issue, half a dozen others spring up. It's like, "Eric's here! It's play time!" Absolutely frustrating - and spirit killing. It's like, have the parents of these kids not AT ALL taught their kids some manners?

So, yeah, P.E. time. One week I did Freeze Tag, and of course kids ran into each other and cried. Another week I spent a bunch of time setting up this Hockey Obstacle Course where the kids were going to use hockey sticks to maneuver little yarn balls around cones, hula hoops, etc. The first class came and just DESTROYED it and then complained that it was boring. I was so mad. Instead, with the rest of the classes for the rest of the week, I just had them play hockey. Again, kids were slapping each other in the faces, stomachs, and shins, coming to me crying. I can't win.

Late last week, I busted out the PARACHUTE! I don't know about you, but we got to use the parachute a couple of times a year when I was in elementary school, and it was always THE BEST TIME. I figured, I'd bring it out as a "Christmas present" of sorts for the kids. Well, it was a BRAND SPANKING NEW parachute when I opened it last week. Now... it's a HEAVILY worn parachute. I started out by telling the kids, "When we go outside, I want you to put your bags down and sit on the benches. There's a big parachute out there [I set it out ahead of time] that we are going to get to play with, but I don't want you to touch it until I tell you that you can." In EVERY class there was a handful of kids who got outside, threw their bags down, RAN FULLSPEED over to the parachute, and began to WALK ALL OVER IT. Why have you never learned to follow directions?? My big opening speech gave the kids 3 essential rules:

(1.) Don't touch the parachute until I tell you that you can.
(2.) Don't EVER walk on top of the parachute, and you may only go under the chute when I tell you that you can.
(3.) Treat the parachute nicely. It's made of cloth and can easily get ripped and torn.

On cue, there were kids who, pretty much immediately, broke ALL of the rules, so these kids did 5 minutes on the bench. Of course, there were a few kids who just REFUSED to give me the 5 minutes. The first couple of days, I was PISSED. [Well, how would you feel if a kid looked you straight in the eye and smiled while STOMPING on top of the parachute?] At the end of each day, after using the chute with 2 classes each day, my voice was SHOT. Barking and barking and barking at kids wreaks havoc on the old vocal chords. Then, I thought, "Why am I getting so upset? They're kids, it's a week before a 2 week break, 2 weeks before Christmas, and, they're KIDS. Let's just have fun." Well, that thinking only got me so far. I still didn't appreciate having kids COMPLETELY disregard the things I was asking them to do [or NOT do]. I mean, you've got to lay down the law at some point, or they will walk all over you. The librarian even advised me to "make an example" out of a couple of kids every now and then... which I tried doing. Oh, and I borrowed a whistle from this guy at school. That thing works wonders.