It Just Gets Worse, Folks

Friday sucked. BIGTIME.

I mentioned before that I got a tip that a nearby school had an Onsite Sub position open and that I called the school and left a message. Well, at 9:45 PM that night [Thursday], the Principal of the school called to say that he actually had a 2nd Grade postion that JUST opened up, and he wanted me to interview for it the next morning [yesterday morning] at 8 AM. I respectfully asked if we could bump it back a little [8 AM!!], and he pushed it back to 9am. I went to bed at 10:30pm, but didn't really fall asleep until 12:30. It was a restless, restless sleep that didn't last long - I woke up at 6am and couldn't fall back asleep for the life of me. Thoughts of things that I could do in a 2nd grade classroom, and fear that I would have to physically slap a classroom together in 2 days filled my head.

So, I got up Friday morning, went down to the school - got there at about 8:45am - walked into the office and asked for the principal. I was told that he was in a meeting in the cafeteria. Um, ok, what about our interview?? I find the cafeteria, and walk in to find myself in the middle of a staff meeting. I figured the guy standing up in front of everyone was the principal so I got his attention and he walked over to me and quietly said, "Sit over there. Don't say anything." Ok. Weird. Don't say anything? At this point I figured that maybe he wanted me at the meeting because I had the job sight unseen, and he didn't want me to talk to anyone because no one on the staff knew that the previous 2nd Grade teacher had just quit. [Well, that was my thought process.] So, I sat there for 45 minutes, watching teachers get up and share what they did on their summer vacations. [Frankly, I don't know why they did this on the Friday before school. I know that this past Wednesday and Thursday were desigated by the district as school meeting days, so did they just not meet those 2 days??] Some of these teachers must make a pretty penny, or, at least, manage their finances a lot better than we do, because they were all talking about these hugely exotic trips to all corners of the Earth. Wales, Thailand, Spain, Mexico, Italy. Craziness.

Eventually, the principal had the teachers meet in grade clusters so that they could all plan their first week together. "Great", I thought. "Even if I get the job, I'm going to miss having this time with the other 2nd grade teachers." I was led into the principal's office where I sat while he looked over my resume, letters of recommendation, and sample lesson plan. He didn't comment on anything he saw at all - a bad sign? Finally, he got up and told me to wait. 10 minutes later [during which time a woman poked her head in and asked me how to turn the lights on in the library...], the principal reappeared and told me to follow him. We walked to a classroom where 2 other 2nd grade teachers and a 1st grade teacher sat. Interestingly, the 1st grade teacher was the one that I subbed for for a half day last Spring. I guess her kid goes to the school and she had wanted the afternoon off so that she could go into his classroom for his birthday party. At the time, she seemed like a nice woman - young - who graciously answered the probing questions that I posed. Turns out, as I somewhat suspected, that it would be her students last year that I would have as students in the 2nd grade. I instantly remembered that there were a couple of kids who seemed like total nightmares, and there was one COMPLETELY UNCOOPERATIVE young lady that I thought was a complete bitch. It became my goal to "break her", so I stood next to her at one point and said over and over, "I asked you to get up and move, so get up and move" [geez, do I even deserve a job teaching kids?].

During the interview, the 1st grade teacher was really the only one that I got any immediate feedback from. She asked most of the questions, and she laughed the most, nodded the most, and wrote down the most notes. I don't know, I thought it went pretty well - considering that I was stressed and tired to the breaking point. Yeah, I stumbled a bit, and may have given some "generic" answers. Oh, and I was completely flustered when asked what part of the 2nd grade curriculum I was most looking forward to. Yeah, I had perused the California Language Arts and Math standards the night before, but I hadn't really done any hard-core, long-term planning in my head. I mumbled something about doing Author's Studies [chosing a couple of children's authors and focusing on their bodies of work for a few weeks] saying that 2nd grade is where kids can really begin to appreciate literature on their own. Whatever. The 1st grade teacher asked the requisite "classroom management" question coming up with a hypothetical situation where you are doing a math lesson and one kid retreats into the corner and starts crying, while two other kids begin to stab eachother with pencils, while, at the very same time, two other kids get into a fight. My first thought was, "Ok, is she trying to tell me something about the kids that I would get in my class if I got the job?" I was pretty confident in my answer, initially mentioning that I would hopefully have a system of postitive discipline in place [I gave specifics] from Day 1 so that this situation would, hopefully, never come up. That being said, I explained how I would assess the situation as a whole, remain calm, and figure out which of the outburts was the most dire situation, and address that one first, etc. Seemed pretty good to me.

So, the question and answer portion was done, and the principal said to me, "Ok, would you leave us to discuss? You can sit outside. This shouldn't take very long..." Ok, what did he mean by this shouldn't take very long. Is that a good sign [Wow, he rocks! Let's hire him right now!], or is it a bad sign [Whoo! What a stinker. This guy sucks. Enough said.]? Well, I waited outside for 5-10 minutes and the principal finally ran past me, shook my hand quickly, and said, "Ok, we just have to check references and then we will call you between 2 and 4pm to let you know." I figured this was a good thing - they just needed to go through the formality of checking references, just to make sure that I was who I was saying I was, and then I will have the job.

I got home at about 11am, feeling really nervous, anxious, tired, stressed - a wide range of feelings. It was freaking me out that I would have to throw a classroom together, and PLAN for the first few days of school, in just a couple of days. Brian encouraged me to take a nap so I laid down but, of course, just couldn't fall asleep. I got up and thought that I would do some pre-planning so I started brainstorming things to do in the first couple days of school with the kids. I also tried to form a bare-bones daily schedule, and even started mocking up a couple of Word document, "get to know you" activities. I even got a collection of CDs together - an assortment of good music that would work well while getting the physical room together over the next few days. Oh, and I secured Taragirl and her car so that when I got the call from the principal then we could throw all of my stuff in her car and drive it all right over to the school.

Well, 2pm came and went. 2:30pm came and went. 3pm came and went. 3:30pm came and went. Here, I started getting REALLY nervous. I mean, my stomach was in KNOTS and my brain was firing forth all kinds of unpleasant scenarios. 4pm came and went and I started getting ticked off - sure, it was the weekend before the first day of school, and the principal was probably REALLY busy, but COME ON. At 4:05pm I called the school. The woman who picked up the phone said, "Ok, yeah, he's definitely on school grounds, but I don't know where he is. Can I take a message?" I left a message. 5pm came and went. Finally, at 6pm I called the school again AND GOT AN ANSWERING MACHINE! What the hell?!? I mean, I shouldn't be 100% surprised that someone in this district hasn't called me back, either way, about a job, but WHAT THE HELL?!? Especially when he HAD to know that I was freaking out that I didn't have a job yet a couple of days before school started. The message that I left on the answering machine was really nice - "Ok, well, it's 6 o'clock and since I haven't heard from you so far I'm assuming that this isn't a good sign. If I'm no longer in the running for the 2nd grade position, I will hope that you still consider me for the On-Site Substitute position." - BUT I STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM AT ALL. Aargh. What is going on?? I'm beginning to think that I'm just a shit interview.

Yesterday [Monday], I went down to the school that will have the 1st grade open in January to drop off my resume and stuff. No one was in the office, so I left my packet with another teacher. I'm afraid, though, that she'll read my cover letter and find out something that may not be 100% public knowledge, though. Oops.

I've gotten a couple of calls for subbing already, and school has only been in session for 2 days. I got calls over the weekend needing subs for the first day of school at the HIGH SCHOOL and MIDDLE SCHOOL level. My thoughts on that:

YEAH, RIGHT!

Can you imagine walking into a high school classroom on the first day of school as some kind of "temporary/place holder" teacher? What would you do with these kids? More importantly, what would they do to you? If the district couldn't get its act together and get a fulltime teacher in that room from the get-go, it's their problem. They sure as hell didn't do much for me. And, I can't stress this point enough, WHO WOULD TAKE A SUB JOB AT A HIGH SCHOOL ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL??

I've applied for a couple of customer service jobs found on Craigslist. I just need any kind of work at this point. I figure that if the REAL sub jobs don't start pouring in soon, I've got to find work SOMEwhere. Ideally, I could work in a call center somewhere until Christmas, and then take over that 1st grade class in January. Ideally.

Musical Chairs

It's the Thursday before school starts, and I still haven't found a job. I feel like the music started playing, people scrambled for seats [mostly by hearing things word of mouth by people in "the know"], and I was left standing.

A glimmer of hope that didn't happen: On Tuesday I went to a school where a friend of mine finally got a job. It's a one year position teaching Kindergarten [bitch!] in this really small "arty" school. Half-heartly, I went to see her freak out while cleaning her new room. I helped her move some furniture, shared things that Miles did in his Kindergarten classroom that I think I will do when I get my own room, and slowly seethed with jealousy. The Principal of the school popped her head in to see how my friend was doing and I was introduced. "Oh, you're Eric Barbus. I was given your name as a suggestion for this Kindergarten position [!!!] but I couldn't find a phone number for you." You mean, I could've been in contention for this room that I'm now standing in, AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT?? Why didn't you contact the district?? They have my info?? Why didn't you look in the PHONEBOOK?? I'm in there!! Anyway, she then said, "Well, as of right now we have too many students on our roster, so we may reopen the classroom next door. It would be a Kindergarten/1st grade split class with 12-15 students. Bring your resume by and we'll consider you for the job. We should know by Friday if we'll need someone." I started freaking out. I wasn't all that thrilled at the prospect of having to set up a classroom in 2 days, or at having 2 different sets of kids to teach [Kinders are just learning letters and numbers while 1st graders are learning to read and add/subtract...], but it would be a job in a great school, NEXT DOOR to a good friend and fellow new teacher. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but of course I did. I stopped by the school yesterday to drop of my resume/letters of recommendation/etc. and was told by the Principal that she had just found out that they WEREN'T going to be openning that room, but may need to NEXT YEAR. Blah.

Today I got a call from a woman who apparently trains Principals. She said that she talked to the Principal from the above school, and had a couple of tips for me. One is a Site Support Sub job at a school nearby {I called them immediately and they took my name and number and said they would get back to me]. The other is a long-term sub job in a 1st Grade class at a school that I didn't have the best sub experience in, but would take anyway. Apparently, a teacher is going on maternity leave, and they want someone to take over. The downside? The job starts in JANUARY. When I called that school to inquire, the woman on the other end said, "Can I ask how you heard about this position?" I mentioned the name of the woman who told me about it and the woman on the phone said, "Wow. That's a GREAT recommendation!" So, apparently this tip woman has some clout in the district. I'm going to go down to the school tomorrow to drop off some paperwork. The more I think about it, the more I really want this job. First off, it's a 1st Grade. Perfect. Second, it wouldn't start until January. I figure that I could just sub here and there until Christmas break, while at the same time taking a couple of days here and there to visit the 1st Grade classroom, talking/planning with the teacher who is leaving, and getting to know the kids. Funny thing is that I subbed in a Kindergarten class at that school last year, and some/most/all of those kids could, then, be in this 1st Grade class now. I may have mentioned this at that time, but, there was a kid named "BOSS" in this class. No kidding.

I got a call from a friend this afternoon saying, "ALICE radio station is giving away tickets to the Now & Zen show in Golden Gate Park next month." I was so excited when I first heard about it: Morrissey and TEARS FOR FEARS together!! In Golden Gate Park!!! Dream show. I turned the radio on, heard them announce that they were giving tickets to the first caller who could tell them what Elvis's parents' names were [Gladys & Vernon, fyi], tried calling, and kept getting a busy signal. I thought, "Well, they are giving tickets away every hour all day. I'll take a break and tune in a little later." An hour later, my friend called again and screamed, "CALL NOW CALL NOW CALL NOW!" I hung up, dialed, it rang, and the DJ said, "Who is this?" I gave my name and she said that I WON TICKETS!! With everything she said, I tried to reply with a good soundbite because I knew that they would probably use some of that call on the radio. NO WAY! You are kidding me! I exclaimed. Morrissey and Tears For Fears are 2 of my absolute favorites! I wanted to get tickets for this show, but I'm totally broke, so this is wonderful! Wonderful wonderful wonderful! I'm a dork, BUT I WON TICKETS and got to HEAR MYSELF ON THE RADIO!! Now, I know EVERYONE says this, but I SO sound different when my voice is recorded.

Bleak Bleak Bleak

[Sigh.]

I called Head Start this morning - my last solid hope - and was told by the secretary that interviews are happening tomorrow and that if I was being considered that I would've been called already. OK. So, you were considering hiring me for a teaching job last summer [when all I wanted to do was volunteer!] when I was completely underqualified, and now that I actually have a teaching credential you won't consider me at all. Uh huh.

I called 4 schools listed on the "vacancies" list at the SFUSD website. 3 of them were for "On Site Substitute" jobs - basically, you are a sub, but work at one school everyday filling in wherever and doing whatever you are needed for - and was told, "Oh, this position has already been filled." Well, then why was it posted for the first time this morning?? The other job was a 1st Grade and I was told that there was someone that they were seriously considering, but took my name and number "just in case". Thanks.

School starts next Monday. Yeah, some stuff could still come up this week - I guess some teachers wait until the VERY last minute to let the district know that they aren't coming back so that they can continue to get benefits all Summer. HOW SELFISH IS THAT?! If you are doing that, then you are screwing with A LOT of people. Number 1, you are fucking over your potential class of students because they are now going to get a teacher [Number 2] thrown in there at the last possible minute who is scrambling to make sense of everything and get things in order, and who doesn't then get to attend the new teacher training week that the district provides [which, I assume, was a couple of weeks ago]. Plus [Numbers 3 & 4], the school itself, and the whole school community at large, is getting screwed because the new teacher will be missing all of the initial community building teacher meetings that happen the week before school starts - THIS week.

The whole damn thing blows. Why can't I find a damn job? At this point, it looks like I'm just going to have to go back to subbing this year. Even though I HATE SUBBING. I guess I will just canvas the 5 or six schools within walking distance, giving them my name and phone number, and hope that I can avoid going to a completely foreign school everyday.

The only thing keeping me going right now is the Cure show this coming Saturday.

Bummed. Really really bummed...

Update

I SO appreciate everyone's kind words and encouragements, I just wish that I had some good news to share.

It's Thursday. The principal at Alvarado said that they were looking to get someone into the job as quickly as possible and that he would, thus, let me know by the beginning of this week. It's Thursday. Wednesday MAYBE could've still been considered as early next week. Thursday is officially LATE next week. I got sick of waiting and wondering, so I just called the secretary at Alvarado to see what the deal was. Obviously, she said that the position had been filled.

All that I ask is that you CALL ME to let me know either way like you said you would. Too much to ask? I think not.

I had the interview at the Preschool on Monday which, again, I thought went alright. The school, hilariously, is called "Tiny Giants". I'm pretty sure that they sensed my apprehension, however, when I found out that it is a Preschool job from 9-12 everyday, and then a DAYCARE job from 12-5pm everyday. Yeah. Oh, and it is a preschool for 2- and 3-year olds, and the daycare is for those guys plus INFANTS. Yeah. There were babies in highchairs there, and I had to walk through a darkened room where little ones were screaming and crying because they didn't want to take a nap. Yeah. The women [sisters, actually - biological sisters, not nuns...] asked if I'm up for bottlefeeding kids and CHANGING DIAPERS. I, not so convincingly, said that it's not something that I'm used to, but wouldn't mind doing. It went well, and I think that they were keen on hiring a guy because the position to be filled was vacated by a guy who got another job, but I think they could read that I was feeling a bit sketchy about the whole situation. Plus, there are no benefits, no sickdays, and no holiday pay - at least for the first 6 months. Yeah.

Oh, and I realized later that evening that the resume that I gave Tiny Giants stated as an objective "to find a teaching position with San Francisco Unified School District". [Shoots self in foot.]

On Monday night I got an email from the District saying, "We just want to see if you are still interested in a job with the district!" [Man, am I starting to really hate these people...] "If so, bring 3 copies of your resume, credential, and letters of recommendation, to this meeting tomorrow." I went. Comfortingly, or maybe NOT so comfortingly, there were 5 or 6 people from my program there. Basically, the meeting was for the district, not for us. They just wanted to get an absolute, final, this-is-it list of people who are still looking for jobs. I walked in feeling OK because it was a lot of older people [40s and 50s] and I assumed that most older people would be looking for high school jobs. BUT, when the woman asked for a show of hands to see how many of us were Multiple Subject [elementary] people, 90% raised their hands. The woman then said, "Well, unfortunately, that's where we have the least positions to fill." Actually, all that they are really looking for right now are bilingual or special education people. If you are either of those, they'll hand you a job on the spot. The rest of us are screwed.

I called a school this morning that listed a Pre-K position and was told that they have someone that they are seriously considering, but took my name and number and would let me know either way [yeah, right] if that person worked out. I called another school about a K position and was told by the principal, "You know, I've already received at least 25 calls about this job and, frankly, can't consider any more. Sorry. Bye."

There's always still Head Start. I know that they recruiting woman there was back from vacation on Monday, and is probably looking over applications this week. Hopefully she will call tomorrow or early next week for an interview.

I'm currently sorting all of the books that I've gotten from Children's Book Project [ABC books, math-related books, science books, read-aloud books, etc.] so that it is one less thing to worry about if I have to move into a classroom the day before school starts - which, I suppose, could still happen. Teachers are supposed to report to work on Wednesday and Thursday next week for meetings. The first day of school is the following Monday [the 30th]. I just didn't want to have the added stress of having no prep time in addition to it being my first teaching job. A friend from the program is scrambling to find anything that she possibly can [4th or 5th grade] but I don't want to do that. I've worked so hard for this, and I know that it is what I want to do for the rest of my life, and I don't want to, at this point, just take ANY job that may come my way - especially not one that I really don't even want. It does neither me, nor the KIDS, nor the administration, any good to be in an environment where I don't feel comfortable. Is this really a time where I should be getting choosey? Probably not, but my comfort and happiness is most important.

I Interviewed [and lived to tell about it...]

Last night was somewhat stressful. I kept it pretty under control, but I was stressed because I've had, oh, 6 months to come up with SOME kind of portfolio and the hardcore procrastinator in me hadn't done a thing. Sure, I kept a file folder stuffed with my Credential, old lesson plans, some printed pictures, student work, a couple of letters of recommendation, etc. BUT, I hadn't written any kind of "philosophy statement", thoughts/philosophies on a Language Arts curriculum, thoughts on my Classroom Management [aka "discipline"], etc. I ran down [actually, I took a bus] to OfficeMax to buy some of those 3-ring binder sleeves that you can slip paper documents into. I was so lost in my own head that I couldn't figure out that the guy who was ringing me out was talking to me when he said 3 times, "Dude, 'Yes' or 'No'?" [I paid with my ATM card and the machine wanted to know if I wanted cash back...]

When I got home, I called both Miles and the last teacher that I worked with at Alvarado. I wasn't so sure that Miles would call back - he has been absent all summer. But, he called. It was good to hear from him, and I got just the right amount of encouragement that I needed from him. I talked for awhile with the Alvarado teacher. Unfortunately, she couldn't talk long and seemed a bit distracted because she had just taken her dog to the vet. The dog is 17 years old and apparently not doing very well. She was a HUGE help, though. She had been a part of some of the panel interviews in past years, and I threw some catch phrases her way which I was thinking about using. She helped me re-word things so that they would sound better. My main concern was walking a balance between being prim and professional, and just being myself. I want someone to hire me because of me, and I want them to know what they are getting from the beginning. Plus, I know that I would never hire someone who walked in, sat perfectly upright, showed very little emotion, and took it all way too seriously. That just isn't me. I'm a casual guy. I like to make people laugh.

I spent all night in front of the computer working on a portfolio, sentences that I would say in answer to random questions swimming through my head. I woke up 3 or 4 times in the night, again, with "answers" to Principal questions on my mind. I woke up about 8am, wrote a quick bio, cover page, printed out some choice photos [kids messing up my hair on a field trip... Look here! Kids LOVE me!], threw my portfolio together, did a few Sun Salutes [yoga poses], showered, shaved, and ate some Special K [I've now got enough UPCs to get the FREE Step-o-Meter!]. When I went to pull the shirt I intended to wear out of the wardrobe and saw that it wasn't there, I remembered that Brian had taken it to LA with him, so it was probably still in his bag [he got home last night to a frantic me - not so much fun for him]. Yep, there it was, WRINKLED TO HELL, with a couple bits of dried something or other on it. I ironed it, and it looked pretty good, especially paired with some grey pants and black shoes. I call it my MOD outfit.

I got to the school about 20 minutes early and the school was dark and empty. There was a note on the office door asking interviewees to sit and wait, which I did. Then, I heard laughter coming from the Principal's office - a LOT of laughter and I thought, "Damn, that person is KILLING in there!" The laughter died and the Principal - in jeans and a t-shirt [he's younger than me - so, like, probably 30 or 31] - came out to bring me into his office. I didn't see anyone leave so I asked, "Did you have an interview before this?" They said that, yes, they just did - I guessed the person must have been ushered out through another door. Then, dork that I am, I said [like I just did to you], "I heard a bunch of laughter and thought, 'Wow. That person is KILLING in there.'" Why do I say these things out loud. The other day at the place that I was temping, I got into the elevator with this other guy that worked in the office [we had been introduced] and I saw that he was carrying a bottle of Lemon-Lime Gatorade. Without thinking I blurted out, "There's this stuff called Airborne that you can drink at the first sign of a cold and it tastes like Lemon-Lime Gatorade mixed with chicken juice." What a dork.

It was really strange, on the bus on the way to the interview I started thinking about the various teaching experiences that I've had so far - including thinking about the girl with autism - and I just about busted out crying. Tears welled, and I just thought, "This is SO becoming a reality." I'm going to be a total wreck when I get a call telling me that I got a job. And when I walk into my first classroom for the first time... I'm bringing a box of tissues.

SO, all in all, the interview went really well - from my point of view. It was a panel deal with the Principal, a 4/5 teacher, a primary grade special education teacher, a special ed consultant [or something like that...], and a parent. They asked me to tell them about myself and 15 minutes later I took a breath. No, not really. But, I did go on and on and on and on - giving them plenty of details that they probably didn't need to hear. But, I really wanted to get in there that I had done a teaching program, including a student teaching experience, 10 years ago, walked away from teaching for awhile, and then came rushing back after having an epiphony while sitting in a cubicle at a temp job. I thought that it was an important story to tell - sort of a "prodigal son returns", tear at the heartstrings, "he must REALLY be sure that teaching is his calling" kind of story.

At one point, the parent, after already having asked a question, mentioned that she wanted to ask another one. "Crap" I thought. "I said something that didn't agree with her and she's going to ask me about it." Well, here's what she said:

I CAN SEE THAT YOU TALK A LOT.

Yep. You read it right. I can honestly say that I don't think that ANYONE has EVER said that about me. She followed up by saying that her son went to a camp this summer and he told his mom that all of the teachers there talked too much. Of course, my response was that I DO tend to talk a lot - ramble, get tangential - when I'm in a situation such as an interview. Then, I went on to explain that in the classroom I don't hog the floor. Teachers are "facilitators", there to help kids discover things on their own, not there to stand in front of the class and spout out things that they think kids should know. I went on and on and on and on. Yep. I responded to her comment about how I talk to much by insisting that I don't, and then RAMBLING ON AND ON AND ON about how I don't for a couple of minutes. Dork.

I don't know. Again, I feel pretty good about it. It lasted about 35 minutes and there really wasn't a time where I felt uncomfortable or caught off guard by a question. Sure, 2 of the teachers seemed a bit bored, not even really looking at me, but I could tell that I was really getting through to one of the teachers. I WAS myself [hopped up a bit on nerves and yoga adrenaline] - maybe a little bit TOO myself - and I did the best that I could. That's all that I could ask of myself.

At the end, the Principal said, "So, anything else?" [Clearly, the next interviewee had shown up] I said, "Well, I've got stuff that you could look at - pictures, lesson plans..." Blank stares. "Ok, well, thanks a lot. Again, I feel honored to have been put on your short list..." Yeah, I freaked out about getting this portfolio together and I didn't even get to pull it out of my bag! MAN!

Well, at least I've got SOME kind of portfolio. I'll bring it to the interview that I have on Monday for a Preschool teacher. I'd love to get the job at Alvarado, but at this point I'd almost be happier working in a preschool. Even though the one that I'm interviewing at is run by a couple of sisters and seems a bit "homemade/Mom & Pop". There's always still the possibility of Head Start, though.

Oh, Crap.

Alright, so I JUST wrote and posted the stuff below and the Principal at Alvarado JUST called again.

HE WANTS TO INTERVIEW ME TOMORROW! Crap. I'm not sure that I'm ready for this.

Did I mention that he wants to now interview me TOMORROW?

Oh, gee...

NEWS!! [though trying not to get too excited... yet...]

Ok, so I just got home from Head Start. I knew that the recruiting woman wasn't going to be back until next week, so I decided to write a cover letter, and "beautify" my resume, and take it down to exchange out the old one. I did so.

So, I'm sitting here, watching an old episode of Felicity [aka The Greatest TV Show Ever], thinking that I would rather just teach at a preschool for a year anyway, when the phone rings. I answer and an unfamiliar voice asks for me by name. My first thought is, "Ok, it's a creditor asking for money." NOPE. IT'S THE PRINCIPAL OF ALVARADO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. He told me that he got my name off of the eligibility list [which, frankly, I thought that I had been taken off of... long story...] and that he wants to INTERVIEW ME NEXT WEEK FOR A KINDERGARTEN POSITION! Immediately I blurted out, "NO WAY! YOU'RE KIDDING ME!" Not understanding my humor he politely questioned, "What do you mean?" So, he's going to call next week to set a time.

MAN, OH, MAN! I got off the phone and said aloud, "Ok, this is way too perfect." A.) It's a KINDERGARTEN position. I want Kindergarten. B.) This is the school in the district that I have, far and away, spent the most time at. 2 YEARS, in fact. The first year that I was there was through a program called America Reads. It was before I started the Credential program and needed 45 hours in a classroom to get into a credential program. America Reads involved tutoring three 3rd graders, 3 times a week, for an entire school year. It was a great program, the kids were amazing, and I had a lot of fun [plus, it was Work Study, so I got paid...]. The second year that I was at Alvarado was for the Credential program. Each semester we had to spend a certain amount of time in a classroom observing and participating. We could chose whatever school we wanted [as long as it was a diverse population - Alvarado still has a Bilingual Immersion program] and since I was already familiar with Alvarado and some of the teachers, I chose to go there. The first semester I was in a 3rd grade class [not so much fun], and the second semester I chose a 1st grade class - LOVED IT. This was when I KNEW that I wanted to teach as young as possible. The teacher in that classroom was great - we still talk on the phone - and she ended up retiring after that year so she gave me a few boxes of stuff, and still says that there is MORE that she eventually wants to give me. SO, I just called her and said, "Hey, I just got a call from the Principal at Alvarado. I'm hoping that you and I can talk sometime about the school, the Principal, other teachers, and maybe that you could - oh, I don't know - work your magic and call him to talk about me..." Actually, I just made a list, and there are 5 other teachers there that I know well enough and could probably say nice things about me.

HOLY CRAP! I want this to happen. It's a great school that, because of where it is and the students that go there, has a TON of parental involvement and a good amount of money. They actually have formal "Movement" and "Dance" classes, a full-time art teacher, a full-time music teacher, and 5 or 6 major "events" throughout the year where each class gets up and does a little song and dance. Oh, and it's super progressive and laid back. I could wear JEANS every day!

This could actually happen. It's just so completely up to me now to make it happen. No pressure...

The Past Few Weeks

Still no real word from San Francisco Unified School District. With only 3 weeks left until school starts, I'm thinking that if I do get a job with them, it won't be until shortly before or after the first day of school.

Sick of waiting, way broke, and really wanting a job lined up, early last week I went down to the offices of Head Start to apply for a job as a Preschool Teacher. Thing is, I'm not entirely sure that I have the right qualifications/paperwork to be a preschool teacher. Sure, the credential program that I was in was an Early Childhood [Pre-K to 3rd Grade] emphasis program, but some preschools require other units/classes that end up adding up to some other kind of certification. A woman in my program applied to some preschools last Spring and was alternately told that she was either UNDER-qualified or OVER-qualified. Another woman in my program said to me, "Oh, come on! We're perfectly qualified. I mean, you've been in a preschool setting before - as a teacher you just play with the kids all day. Frankly, I think that we are OVERLY qualified to teach in a preschool." My assumption is that Head Start thinks that I am perfectly qualified because last summer [when I didn't have a job and was collecting unemployment] I went down to the Head Start offices with my resume in hand just to see if I could volunteer at one of their centers. Well, I called and emailed, and called and emailed, and they never got back to me [I just wanted to VOLUNTEER for crying out loud] at all over the summer - however, they did call right when I was starting my student teaching to tell me that they had a preschool teacher JOB available. So, even without a credential of any kind, they seemed to be offering me a job... Let's just hope that they do the same this summer. Thing is, I thought, "Ok, here's someone who's hiring right now and I can talk to someone when I hand in my resume and get offered a job in the next week or so." Well, when I got there the woman at the front desk [who happened to be someone that I worked on a project with in an awful Philippino Literature class a couple of years ago] said, "Ok, I'll take your stuff. Thanks for applying!" I asked if there was someone that I could talk to about the job right now [well, I was there, I wanted a job, and I even TUCKED IN MY SHIRT] and she said, "Oh, the woman who hires the teachers is on vacation until August 15th..." So, I'm pretty much in the same boat with them - just a waiting game at this point.

I temped a few days this week. Actually, I got a call from my agency woman a couple of Thursdays back, and went into the temp gig for the first time on that Friday. Then, they wanted me back Tuesday through Friday last week. It was for this company called Boxport and, even having been there for 5 full days, I'm not entirely sure what it is that they do. It has something to do with setting up accounts for hotels so that the hotel can centrally place orders for towels, forks, plates, Demi tasse cups and saucers [whatever a "Demi tasse" happens to be...], etc. Basically, all of the "stuff" that is in a hotel that a patron would use. So, I sat in a tiny corner of the office, completely in the way of a couple of people whose cubicles were right next to my "shelf", looking through catalogues at a bunch of stuff that I could never afford [$400 for a silver-plated WATER PITCHER!?] that will be used in hotels that I will never stay in. It was stimulating stuff - working in Excel, filling in prices, styles, sizes, colors, and "case pack" [???] numbers. Oh, and I also had to, over and over and over on a bunch of different spreadsheets, change stuff like "Solid Handle Salad Knife" to "Silver, Knife, Salad, s/h", and "Deep Spring Green Pasta Bowl" to "China, Bowl, Pasta, Deep, Spring Green". By Thursday my eyes were bleeding from staring at a computer screen and squinting to look at tiny type in catalogues, and my brain was mush from "Copy"ing and "Paste"ing the same few phrases [1-2 Weeks; Same Day; China, Plate, Dinner; etc.]. In all fairness, there were some really nice people there, especially the woman that gave me things to do all day, and the kind of work that they had me do was right up my alley - very detail-oriented copy editing, standardizing, and fact checking. The woman would explain to me what to do and then leave me to do it - no one looking over my shoulder or putting pressure on me. It's just that they weren't always clear on what they wanted me to do, mostly because I think that they weren't entirely sure what it was that they wanted me to do. So, I typed stuff in, standardizing info that I thought needed standardizing. I'm not sure if I standardized things in the way that they wanted, but at least they were standardized. From a teacher's point of view, I found the whole thing interesting because it had to do with "CONTEXT" - or, in this case, LACK of context. I think that I could've done a better job, and found it all much more interesting, if it had been explicitly explained to me WHAT I was doing, WHY I was doing it, HOW what I was doing would be used later, and WHAT THE HECK THE COMPANY DID ANYWAY. Teaching is the same way, if you want someone to really learn something, you have to put it in a context for them - hopefully, within a thematic context rather than just having kids learn random things at random times. It's not "Hey, kid, learn this!", it's "We're doing this because it's information that will come in handy when you find yourself..." [or something like that...].

The temp gig may continue this week, I'm definitely not going back there tomorrow, but if they need me again they will call. I can't say that I'm hoping that they will call, but we need the money, and it wasn't awful, so I'll certainly go if I get the call. Being there just reminded me how much I really don't like office environments. When I temped at the end of '99, I would sit there in my cubicle, bored to tears, listening in on faux conversations about spending the week in "Tahoe" and their dinner last night at the most expensive restaurant in the city, daydreaming about what my classroom would look like if I were a teacher. In December of '99 I had had enough and enrolled at San Francisco State to finish my undergrad degree and start a credential program. I'm SO not an office person.

I brought with me [to the temp gig] a "teacher book" that Miles recommended and I ended up getting for Christmas called Strategies That Work. I've started reading it because, in addition to the fluff reading that I'm doing this summer, I thought that I should be constantly reading "teacher-y" books to keep my educator's mind alert and fresh, and to be a constant reminder of my ultimate goal. Plus, there are a lot of great $10 ideas and phrases in there that will be great to use when an interviewing Principal asks me about my ideas on literacy in the classroom. So, on my lunch break the first day, feeling like a doofus loser temp in this "high power" office, I pulled out the book and began to read. Honestly, after only reading a couple of pages, the excited tingle of one day [let it be soon] having my own classroom filled me. I walked back to the temp gig feeling refreshed and re-motivated, wishing that I was setting up my classroom, rather than sitting at a shelf [nope, I didn't even get a desk] leafing through high-end china and silver catalogues.

I ate my lunch all last week in Union Square with the tourists [and I think that I saw Peter Dinklage one day]. I can't tell you how many pictures I'm going to end up in - "Oh, honey, look! Here we are in Union Square... Wait, who's that guy in the background scarfing down a Subway sandwich?" It made me wonder, in a "stoner conversation" kind of way, just how many photographs I've been in the background of throughout my life. How many vacation photos - where it wasn't my vacation - have I ended up in because I was in the right/wrong place at the wrong/right time? Now it's something for you to ponder when you're bored... or incredibly high...

I SO need a haircut. I'm beginning to look like the lovechild of Linda Evans and Michael Douglas.