So, Sunday [December 26th] was the big "reunion". Brian drove up from Indy for it, I'm so glad that he was there. It ended up being at an old friend's new place - a house on a bunch of land out in the boonies that her husband owns. We got there, walked in, and I immediately felt a bit odd. Well, awkward. I just wanted the damn thing to work out well for everyone involved. Even though it wasn't my house, I still felt like the "host" because it was me that had the whole idea, started the blog to find all of the old high school gang, and set up the event. I hate being host - it just means that I can't fully enjoy myself because I'm so worried about everyone else having a good time.
Well, I think everyone [roughly half of us, 10 of 17 or so that we found, showed up] did have a pretty good time. The woman whose basement we were in provided the alcohol, we ordered [VERY EXPENSIVE] pizza, people brought leftover desserts from the holidays, and many brought old pictures and yearbooks to leaf through. It was most touching for me to see everyone else reconnect. In fact, because of the website some people who all live around Indy had already hooked up a few times for coffee/breakfast in the months before the reunion. That teared me up the most. Yeah, it was a bit awkward to try to pick up where we left off because we were all such great friends at one point in our lives, and the drinks and the stories of old flowed. The coolest part of the evening came when the hostess's husband took some of us out for snowmobile rides. It was damn cold, but he provided snow pants, a big heavy coat, hat and gloves, and drove me out to a HUGE open field at night. The moon was shining full, and I felt so cool and free when he let me take the snowmobile for a few spins around the field. Beautiful.
Monday morning Brian and I got up [we got to sleep in the same bed at my parents house!] and drove to South Bend to have lunch with my older sister-in-law. Then, we went back to my brother's house - he was home from work by then - we sat around for a few minutes, and Brian had to jump back in the car to drive back down to Indy. I spent the night at my brother's place, we watched some episodes of Mr. Bean [which I had never seen - kinda reminded me a bit of Pee Wee Herman...], an episode of "Fawlty Towers", played some more games on the "12,000 in 1" videogame system, played with the Shi Tzu, and it was off to bed early as they both had to work early in the morning. Got up early Tuesday morning, my brother had already left for work - which I found odd, since he didn't say goodbye to me... - and my sister-in-law took me to the
South Shore train station at the South Bend airport, and my mom picked me up at the South Shore station in Chesterton.
A little while later, I met an old friend [who wasn't part of "the gang"] for coffee and cigarettes. He's an actor in New York these days, trying to make it big. He said that he recently went to see a play with a friend and her friends, Sam Rockwell, Clare Danes, and Billy Crudup. Plus, he recently had a long conversation at a party with Phillip Seymor Hoffman.
That night, I made my parents watch "Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring" with me. I figured, I'm back there for 11 days so that I can let them know a bit more about me and what I've been up to and what I'm interested in, etc. so I thought I'd make them experience the glory of, at least the first part of, the Trilogy. Well, they slept through a good 75% of it. Mom seemed a bit more into it than Dad, except that she snickered at some harrowing parts. After the movie ended, they seemed pretty wide awake and my Dad expressed his displeasure in the fact that Frodo hadn't destroyed the ring before the credits rolled. "It's a TRILOGY. What would be left for 2 more movies if he got rid of the ring in the first 3 hours?" Over a cigarette in the garage I thanked my father for at least giving the movie a shot. It meant a lot to me. And, I've got to say, this was BIG for me. I mean, a couple of years ago I would've been PISSED that they couldn't even stay awake for a movie that I treasured - I would've taken it
personally and taken it as a sign that they didn't love me at all or some such crap. I've come a long way to now just think, "Hey, they gave it a shot, and that is all that I can ask of them."
Wednesday, I hung out a bit with my best male friend from high school. He picked me up, we went for breakfast/lunch, drove to Merrillville to go to Best Buy [where I got the
Peter Gabriel video collection and
Tori Amos live DVD which has a bonus EP in it with brand new songs that kick ASS], drove back to Valparaiso and shared a pitcher of beer. This guy just has the saddest story [I hope he doesn't read my blog...]: he got a woman pregnant back when we were 20 years old, and basically married her because of it. Over the years they had another child, he gave up his art [he's a fantastic drawer], and the wife became this crazy Christian who won't let him do anything and he pretty much feels trapped in the marriage for the sake of the kids. Everytime I see him he pours this stuff out on me and apologizes for it. I'm just glad that he has me to talk to from time to time about this stuff. I guess he's pretty much at the breaking point and I'll bet that, even though he doesn't want to have to pay child support and give up the new house that he and his father-in-law BUILT THEMSELVES, he'll end up getting separated and divorced within a year. I confessed to him that I sometimes feel like the turn that his life took is all my fault - he said to me, "Yeah, I sometimes blame you, too." Well, it's like this: he and I were supposed to room together at Indiana University our freshman year and, at the last minute, I bailed on him and decided to room with this other guy that I met our Senior year instead. I just think that if he and I had stayed in touch I could've looked out for him and kept him on the "right track". "Hey," I said, "if nothing else, you have two beautiful daughters to be proud of." Plus, did I mention that he BUILT HIS OWN HOUSE. Stuff that I would want but don't know that I'll ever have. The grass is always greener, eh?
Wednesday night, some old neighbors came by for a drink. LOVE these two - they seem cursed by the universe, but they were always SO supportive of me, so I always make an effort to visit them when I am back in the area. The husband asked if I was happy and I replied, "I'm getting there..."
Oh, and at some point during that day my mom and I chatted about where I am in my life right now. She asked about school, and whether Brian and I will be together forever. At one point she was reading the paper and I saw an article about same-sex marriage. I asked her what her thoughts were on the issue and she cagily muttered, "Oh... I don't know..." "YOU DON'T KNOW?!? How can you not know?? Don't you want your son to EVER be allowed to marry the one that he loves?? What, is this a religious thing??" "Well, kind of..." I didn't get too upset because they are both really accepting of Brian and continue to give him gifts and send cards to him on his birthday. It could be MUCH worse.
Thursday was THE day - my date with
H&M in Chicago. My dad got off work early and he and my mom and I drove into Chicago around 3pm. I must say, that I wasn't ENTIRELY wowed by H&M. Maybe I had just psyched myself up a bit too much. It was cool, there were some interesting things that I saw, but very few things that I thought that I HAD to have. I did find a kick-ass long-sleeved shirt and a zip-up athletic-y jacket that I ended up getting, but, otherwise, it was WAY too crowded, the dressing room was HOT & HUMID and smelled of butt, most of the clothes were sized WAY small, and the clothing selection was a bit too '80s rehash for me. I'd like to go back this spring though to see what they might have in the way of short-sleeved shirts, though. All in all, I was happy with the prices [the prices ROCK], but still prefer the styles that
Urban Outfitters has to offer [but, DAMN, just LOOK at those Urban Outfitters prices! $190 for a button-up shirt!?]. Still can't wait for San Francisco to get its H&M, though.
After H&M we met one of my cousins and her husband for a grand Italian feast. The last time I saw my cousin I was a bit annoyed at how much of a YUPPIE she was - I remember being ruffled by her asking me how often I went to "Tahoe" and how many square feet our apartment was... ick - but this time I just let that stuff go. No, I SO don't have the life that she and her husband have, but that doesn't mean that she's evil or that I'm a complete loser. We just lead different lives.
Friday morning, we got up SUPER early and my parents dropped me off at the airport. As they unloaded my stuff on the curb and started to say their goodbyes, I noticed that they both had tears in their eyes, and, at that moment, I realized that I wasn't ready to leave. I honestly didn't want to go back to San Francisco. I had come around - the "feelings" had passed, and I was actually ENJOYING spending time with my family. Also, being in Chicago the day before made me remember how much I LOVE that city. There's just something about it that feels familiar, welcoming, and comfortable to me - it's certainly a place that I could see living in some day. That, coupled with seeing how well my older brother and his wife get along with my parents, seeing old friends again, and the fact that I have a neice that will be entering the world in a month, made me think that I don't really want to live SO far away from Indiana anymore. There was certainly a time in my life where I wanted to get as far away from all that Indiana stuff as possible, but I don't feel the need to be so far removed from it anymore. At this point, I'm torn about what to do about it all...
Oh, one other thing about the trip to Indiana: the cold, dry air, and the water softener that my parents have, made my hair VERY happy.
