Been awhile, eh?

Well, I've got to say, not a whole lot has been happening. In fact, I'm incredibly bored, and it's putting me in a crappy mood. Two weeks ago was San Francisco Unified School District's spring break, so I, of course, didn't get any sub jobs that week. Last week, I didn't get any sub jobs either. Why?? My only thought is that since it was the week after teachers already had a full week off, they decided that they didn't need any more time off for awhile. And, here I sit on Monday, without a job today either. Friday I went around to a few schools in the neighborhood and handed out my name and phone number, hoping that I can become their "Go-To Guy" when they are in need of a sub. Let's hope that it works.

But, for now, here I sit in the sweltering heat, with no money, and not making any money. It blows.

I suppose that I should talk a bit about the last couple of days before Spring Break [when I DID have sub jobs]. The Thursday after the awful Wednesday on Treasure Island [I ended up buying a pack of cigarettes when I got back into town Wednesday afternoon...] was actually pretty darn good. I was dreading having to be in a 5th grade classroom, but the kids were quite cool. What was different? What made it a good day? I suppose that part of it had to do with me - I went in there saying, "I'm going to have fun today. I'm going to be a little wacky and hope that the kids have a good day, too." Maybe it was the way to do it, because there were very few times throughout the day where I had to raise my voice. Oh, that was another thing that I told myself: I'm not going to lose my cool and yell today. That, I think, is the major key. When you start to lose it, the kids start to lose it, and then all control is totally lost. SO, on Thursday, I wrote on the board what the schedule for the day was going to be [Computers! PE! Music!], and went about the day hoping we all had a good time.

When I saw on the [scant] lesson plans that we had PE time, I asked at the office it there was a PE teacher that I would pass the kids off to. Nope. I had to be the PE teacher. We played kickball - the kids wanted it to be boys vs. girls, to which I said, "NO WAY" - and then they asked if they could elect two captains who would then pick teams, to which I said, "NO WAY". I had them stand in a line and then counted them off 1,2,1,2. I got to be the pitcher. WhooHoo. At one point, a student kicked the ball and it was headed, with some speed, directly at my head. SO, instinctually, I reached up and caught the ball. Oh, man, did I get yelled at. "NO FAIR!" "YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CATCH THE BALL!" "YOU'RE CHEATING!" "YOU WANT THEIR TEAM TO WIN!" I calmed them down and said, "Hey, look. It was an accident. If a ball is travelling directly at your face, the naturally thing to do is to catch it so that you don't get a black eye or knocked unconscious. Take it easy, we'll do it over again..." Sure, the day had its trying times - one girl felt betrayed or something by some of her classmates so she stomped out of the room and SLAMMED the door behind her, and the music teacher never showed up so we had an extra hour to kill - but, overall, it would definitely go into the "Good Day" column.

On that Friday, I had set up a sub job for a Resource Specialist at a school around the corner from our apartment. I was looking forward to the day because I figured that, being the Resource Specialist, I would just work with one or two kids during the day, or help out in a classroom or two for a few hours. Nope. When I got there, the principal gave me a sheet with times that I would be in 4 different classrooms throughout the day. It ended up being a teacher release day, where these 4 teachers each got an hour and 15 minutes to score tests and work on assorted paperwork. So, the teachers were on site all day, but I filled in for them for a bit each. The first classroom was a Kindergarten and, I've got to say, it felt to me like a pre-school classroom next to Miles' class. I don't know, it just seemed like Miles' classroom was MUCH more academic based, and that the kids in this Kindergarten class were playing and doing really non-challenging things all day. Sure, I was only there for an hour and a half, but that's the way it felt. I mean, the teacher had me count to 15 with these kids, while Miles has his class counting to 100 already. The best thing about the class [which certainly WASN'T the creepy, old, fake teeth, fake-haired old male teacher - whose job I covet...] was that the little girl that was in Miles' class last Fall for the first few weeks of school - the girl that I adored who came SO far in just a couple of weeks, but who was suddenly yanked from our class [see posts from September] - WAS IN THIS CLASS. She, apparently, just got moved to a school a couple of blocks from Bryant. I must admit, that I knew that she was still in school in the neighborhood because I've seen her at the Bryant afterschool program a couple of times, but it was SO great to actually get to be in a classroom with her again. She's a doll.

The second class that I was in on that Friday was a 2nd grade, and they were kind of monsters. It was math time, and I was asked by the teacher to go over the Math that they had just done in Spanish in ENGLISH. The kids weren't having it, so I sat them on the rug for a story. They still weren't having it so we went back to our seats for some more Math, and, luckily, it was time to go to lunch.

After lunch, I got put in a 3rd grade class and the teacher decided not to use her release time. SO, I just kind of wandered around the room for an hour - actually, it was A LOT of fun - helping the kids build Easter baskets and dye Easter eggs.

The last class of the day was another Kindergarten. The teacher, before she left, set the kids up in Centers [drama/kitchen center, science center, blocks center, etc.] and I just had to walk around and play with them for an hour. I ate SO much plastic food in the Kitchen Center - even some very realistic looking plastic bacon. I got the kids cleaned up just in time for their teacher to come back. After school, I mentioned to her [the last teacher] that I was hoping to get a Kindergarten job somewhere and she told me that I shouldn't have a problem at all finding a Kinder job. She said that "no one wants to be a Kindergarten teacher", which I SO don't believe, but it was good to hear.

So, yeah, haven't worked since then. Of course, I'm not REALLY looking forward to getting back into subbing, but we really need the money.

As far as the job search goes, well, it isn't really going at all. Last week, I stopped into Bryant in the morning to talk to the principal about my getting Miles' job next year. As expected, he was of very little help and shot down my hopes within the first few minutes. I've got to say, though, that I was pretty proud of myself. I expected myself to be quite nervous, and just let him give his side without speaking up for myself, but, when we sat down in his cramped office, I got in interview mode and made my case for myself whenever I got the chance. Did it work? Probably not, but at least I know that I tried. He's kept saying that he's got to go through the proper channels and offer the job up to consolidated or returning teachers before he can even consider anyone else - especially someone who hasn't had a teaching job yet. At one point he said something like, "If a consolidated teacher walks in here and wants the job, I have to give it to them", to which I said, "Well, that's ridiculous! Wouldn't you rather hire someone that you know is a good fit? Someone who knows the school, the teachers, and the kids? Someone who you know is already committed to the school rather than someone off the street who has seen the school once??" He didn't buy it. At the end, even though I knew my words were falling on deaf ears, I launched into a speech about how "when I did my student teacher here, it wasn't just about being in the classroom with those kids. I already felt pretty confident about my teaching abilities. For me, student teaching was also about being a TEACHER in the school. That's why I talked to other teachers as much as possible, got to know the school support staff, stayed after school every day, went to all of the professional development and school business meeting, etc. I grew to love this school because everyone here allowed me to do these things so that I could get the full-rounded TEACHER experience." After this speech he said, "Well, do I have your resume?" In ALL likelihood he only asked for it to humor me, but, again, I have to feel like I've done all that I can do. Nevertheless, I was in a HORRIBLE mood that night, one that has taken a few days to disappear.

Today was: more of the same...

... and it's wearing thin. But, what's new?

I'm going to try to keep this brief, because I would really rather just put it all behind me and move forward, but... Today was pretty crappy. I got put at a school on Treasure Island, and I only took the job because I thought it would be interesting to see what the heck was out there. I didn't think that many people lived out there, let alone there would be enough to merit a K-8 school. Unfortunately, school starts there at 7:50am, so I had to be up at 5:30am in order to get ready, BART downtown, and then catch the only MUNI bus that goes across the Bay Bridge and out to the island. Not a good way to start the morning.

I was intially told that I would be in a 2nd Grade class all day, but when I got there they told me that I would be in a 4/5 split class in the morning, and the 2nd grade in the afternoon. I was a bit miffed, because I really just wanted the 2nd grade all day, but, lucky for me, I only had to spend two hours with them. If I had been in that class in the morning, I probably wouldn't have lasted until 2pm. At this point I should let you know that both teachers [the 4/5 teacher, and the 2nd grade teacher] were on-sight all day, but had subs for half of the day while they were in meetings [which they both told me were pointless...].

The 4/5 was crazy, as expected, but the teacher laid out stuff for them to do. So, even though they were out of their chairs, throwing things at each other, and continually talking, they got some stuff done [well, MOST kids got some stuff done]. Early in the morning, a policeman [??] looked into the room, saw some kids being rowdy, and decided to step in. OK, way to undermine my authority, Mr. Toughguy! Naturally, as is the case with EVERY SUB ASSIGNMENT I TAKE, he said to me, "Yeah, this is a tough group." And, they were pretty tough. 5 or 6 of the boys just COULDN'T seem to park themselves in their chairs for more than 15 seconds at a time. I swear, in the last month I've uttered the phrase "sit down" more times than I can possibly count. At one point, a bunch of the boys ran to the windows and the door that led outside to the playground. I calmly walked over, wondering what the commotion was about, to find one of the kids in the class FUMING mad, pacing, and repeatedly kicking the wall outside. I honestly have no idea how long he had been out there, because I never noticed him leave the room. So, there I am, outside the classroom while kids could've been killing each other, trying to talk this kid "down"... to no avail. I went back in the room, looked out into the hallway, and found some teacher-guy walking by and said, "Um, one of the kids in this class is outside pacing around, really angry about something, and I can't leave the room so could you go out and talk to him?" Eventually, the kid came back [like, a WHILE later, and from the hallway rather than from the playground door...]. Don't know what his issue was, or how it was resolved, and don't really have the energy to ponder it.

At lunch, in the teacher's lounge, the 2nd grade teacher found out that I would be taking her class and said, "Good luck." The teacher across the table said, "Oh, you've got Room 6 this afternoon? Good luck!" Why am I cursed to always get the "tough" classes? The principal at Bryant [where I did my student teaching] wrote a letter to the district asking that all of us student teachers at the time be allowed onto the closed sub list. I'm the only one that the district actually called. I'm also the only guy that was on the list. Coincidence? I think not. [Am I somewhat of a paranoid schizophrenic? Possibly.] Honestly, really do think that I am on some SPECIAL list where I get called to sub in the classrooms in this city with REALLY difficult kids. What other explanation is there?

So, yeah, in short, the 2nd graders were TERRORS. I mean, REALLY rude, REALLY disrespectful, and REALLY REALLY horrible to each other. Three different kids, at three different times, started crying because of something that a classmate had said to them. Actually, one time it was because one kid tore up another's math paper in front of him. Did I mention that these kids were rude? They talked back to me, gave me MAJOR attitude, didn't listen or follow any directions, intentionally defied directions, ran out of the classroom, slammed the door, told me to shut up, mocked me, screamed at me, stuck their hands in my face, called me names, threatened me ["Yo, dog. Step off!"]. You name it. And they were 8 YEARS OLD. Halfway through the afternoon I almost started crying while thinking to myself, "I really can't do this anymore. But, I'm trying to get a freakin' job with this district - which I'm starting to think that I don't even want a stupid job in anymore - we need the money, and I really should have a job right now that is education related, so what the fuck else am I going to do?"

Oh, there were 2 [TWO] kids out of the 15 second graders who were actually polite and did their work. One of them [make of this fact what you will, I'm honestly not trying to be racist] was the only white kid that I saw at the school, and the other was this kid who just seemed shellshocked. We were doing [actually, FEW were doing] a Math worksheet on subtraction with borrowing, and this kid seemed to be having some problems. So, when I wasn't breaking up a fight, telling kids to stop chasing each other, etc., I tried to make it over to him to give him a hand. At one point he said, "I want to go back to my old school", and it suddenly clicked that the teacher told me at lunch that she had a new student dumped on her doorstep that morning... without ANY advance notice. I felt SO sorry for this kid. I said to him, "Oh, that's right! Today is your first day here, right? Not a very good first impression, huh?" He shook his sad, little face. After school, as I was walking the kids outside, I turned to him and said, "I REALLY hope tomorrow is better for you." And I meant it.

Tomorrow I get to sub in a 5th grade classroom across town, and I'm prepping myself for the worst because that just seems to be my track record.

Oh, I should mention that last week I was put into a HIGH SCHOOL one day. WHAT!?! Who the hell did that?! Yeah, I walked out of there with a MAJOR headache. REALLY bad. Never, EVER again.

But, last Friday I subbed for Miles again and it was a breath of the freshest air. I mean, it rocked. It was SO much fun. Damn, I love those kids. Why can't all kids be that way?