I had my yoga class for the first time today [I'm currently doing this from a computer lab on campus - I have another class at 4pm]. Well, actually, today was technically the 3rd session, but we didn't do any actual yoga during the first two sessions. The first week was strictly an introduction, and the second week the Yoga Guy just talked about the history of yoga. He also gave us a bit of his own history by talking about how he was drafted for the Vietnam War, but was discharged early on because they couldn't "break" him while in boot camp. I guess on the day of his discharge, he and some friends went hiking in the Grand Canyon and got busted for marijuana possession. He was "made an example of" and had to spend a month in a jail cell with 30 other guys, and he ended up teaching them all yoga so that they wouldn't all go insane [or something...]. Interesting.

So, today we did some yoga. Mind you, this was the first time in my [almost] 33 years that I've done any kind of yoga-y stuff. Up until a few years ago, I thought all of this yoga-y stuff was New Age, bland touchy-feely junk for goofballs. It all just smacked of pretension and delusion. To be honest, I still don't believe in all of the body energy / aura mumbo-jumbo, but I do believe in the body storing up tension [of which I am a giant ball of] and certain stretching exercises being the way to relieve that tension.

So, there I am, in my t-shirt (singluar) and shorts [T-SHIRT AND SHORTS!], hanging out with a bunch of strangers on a large mat in a darkened room while the Yoga Guy talked softly, and some ambient music played in the background... and... I took it all seriously. My friend Monica, who is in the Credential program with me, is also taking the class [she's taken it a number of times before, and is freakishly limber], and she had said to me [after I voiced my concerns about the class], "Oh, it's a totally Yoga for Beginners. It's really easy, low-impact positions." Huh? Some of this stuff was SO not easy. At many points, the Yoga Guy would say, "You should feel a warming sensation in your mid-section/thighs/legs/etc.," to which I wanted to exclaim, "Um, by 'warming sensation' do you mean 'INTENSE BURNING sensation!?'" It really got me thinking about how un-flexable I am. Whoa. We did leg lifts while lying on our sides and I think that I only did 3 on each side because the pain got to be excruciating. I mean really, my body just isn't used to doing this stuff and moving in these ways. In between "poses/exercises" we would have "relaxation time" and Yoga Guy would say something like, "Let your body enjoy the rest," and I knew that my body was MORE than enjoying the rest.

We're supposed to write in a "yoga journal" this evening and document how we felt all day after the yoga class. Right now, I'd have to say that it wasn't so bad, and that I do kind of, very generally, feel "better". I'm pretty confident, though, that my body may think differently tomorrow.

Why do I feel that I've just made a huge, HUGE mistake?

I was awoken this morning [well, it was 9:30am...] by a phonecall from the Principal of Bryant Elementary School [where I did my Student Teaching]. He first asked if I had heard anything about getting on the Substitute list [um, this was supposed to be something that HE would keep ME informed about...], and then asked if I would be interested in a long-term sub position in the 4/5 split class. I pondered, and waffled, and stuttered, and probably came off as completely unprofessional. Then I told him that I wouldn't be able to teach on Tuesdays because I have class - which is the truth - although, TODAY is Tuesday so he must have been thinking, "Um, well then why aren't you in class right NOW??!!" He made it seem, though, that he'd be willing to work around the Tuesday obstacle. And then I said that I wouldn't feel 100% comfortable in a 4/5 split because my credential is an Early Childhood Emphasis Credential - meaning that I am most qualified for Pre-K through 3rd grade. And, honestly, I really have no experience [or INTEREST] in teaching any grade above 2nd [I didn't mention the "interest" part to the Principal]. It would be like having the team catcher be the pitcher for the World Series [well, ok, that is a bit emphatic...].

Oh, and to make things WORSE, when I mentioned the "not really feeling qualified to teach upper grades", I said to the Principal, "And I JUST had a dream about teaching Kindergarten..." HUH!? Am I an IDIOT!? Why would I tell that him that I JUST woke up at 9:30AM on a TUESDAY!?!

UGH.

SO, I feel like I've just TOTALLY BLOWN my shot at getting Miles's job next year. I can just see Miles saying [I'm going to call him later today], "WHAT were you thinking?!?" And I can hear the Principal saying, "Well, you weren't willing to step in when I needed you, so why should I hire you now??"

CRAP!