After school on Tuesday [yeah, there's more - Tuesday was a full day], I called to make an appointment to have a Credential Advisor at State look over my paperwork, and make sure that it was all in order. The woman that I talked to said that the only appointment left [yeah, I procrastinated and put off seeing an advisor until the last possible moment] was on Wednesday, December 17th. Immediately I said to her, "Um, ok. Um, what time is the appointment? I ask because that is the day that 'Lord of the Rings: Return of the King' comes out, and I have to see it on opening day." Yeah, I've got my priorities in order...

Miles was cornered by the moms of the girl in the wheelchair. Apparently, they fought REALLY hard to get their daughter into Miles' classroom this year, and Miles went out of his way to let her in the class [he had already agreed to take the girl with autism, and one "special needs" student per class was the limit set by the district], and now they wanted him to write a recommendation for the girl so that she could go to some private school next year. Well, it's no secret that the girl in the wheelchair is a pain in the ass. So, Miles was stuck with the dilemna of writing a favorable review of the girl and, essentially, LYING - something that could come back to bite him in the butt [his credibility as a teacher would be on the line if the private school called him up next year and said, "Are you kidding us? You said this girl was sweet and she's really a MONSTER!"]. OR, he could be honest and truthful, and lay out how horrible the girl is, and suffer the wrath of The Moms for the remainder of the school year. (In the end, I think he kept it short, and lied a bit. However, I heard from him last week that the moms, the girl, and the para went to visit the private school a few weeks ago, and the para said that the girl in the wheelchair was her usual self during the visit - thus, she doesn't think they will let her in the school...)

The Thursday of that week was going to be my last Student Teaching Seminar down at State. On that evening, we were to present to the rest of the class what we had gotten together in terms of a "professional portfolio" of sorts. Me being me, I had NOTHING. Well, I do have a pile of letters of recommendation, lesson plans, student work, and lots of photos from the last few years, but nothing cohesive and coherent. Tuesday night, my seminar professor called to ask if I would speak at the Credential Awards Ceremony to be held the next Friday night. Flattering, eh? What was even more flattering was the fact that a number of my classmates in the Credential Program nominated me to speak that the ceremony. Thing was, I REALLY didn't want to do it. In fact, not TWO MINUTES before my professor called, I had said to Brian, "You know what? I'm not going to go to the Credential Awards Ceremony." Brian had to work that night, a lot of my classmates said that they wouldn't be going, and I just didn't really feel like dressing up at all, so I wasn't going to go. I mentioned this to my professor and she countered with, "Ok, if you agree to speak next Friday night, I won't require to you to show me a portfolio on Thursday night." She KNEW how to get to me - I weighed the offer, and then quickly said, "Ok, I'll do it."

So, yeah, I got up and gave a little speech at the Credential Awards Ceremony on Friday, December 12th. It was all kind of weird because I wasn't told what I should talk about, I knew that most of the people from my "cohort" that nominated me to speak weren't even planning on going, and I didn't really invite any of my friends to go because they would've had to buy a ticket to the thing for $10 [everyone that I know is just as perpetually broke as we are].

SO, I showed up there on the night in question a bit late [it was raining and MUNI was running WAY slow] with only a vague idea of what I wanted to say, and I was feeling really congested and feverish. I found out that there were three of us students chosen to speak, and I had a short conversation with the woman that was to speak before me. She asked if I had prepared anything in advance, and I admitted, "Well, not really. But, I've got a few things that I've been mulling over..." She said that she hadn't really prepared anything in advance either - and, boy, was she not kidding. I mean, I had been thinking about things all week long that I wanted to say - certain phrases and thoughts kept coming to mind - so I felt at least mildly prepared. Well, this woman, bless her heart, obviously hadn't thought about her speech AT ALL. I felt so uncomfortable for her as she kept nervously laughing and saying things like, "Yeah. Student teaching was great. Yeah, um, I'm going to miss those kids. Um, yeah..." [NO JOKE.] Whoa. I was pretty nervous until she said my name and I stood up, crawled across the aisle, and got up on the little platform and took my spot behind the podium. There I was, in front of a couple of hundred people, some of whom were fellow classmates, and some of whom were professors, deans, and the like from the School of Education. The pressure was on, but I met it face to face. I began by saying, "You'll have to excuse me because I'm feeling kind of sick. There are two reasons that I am sick. Number 1 is a kid named W-----." [Crowd laughs.] "Yeah, this kid hangs on me all day and insists on coughing in my face, no matter how many times I tell him to cover his mouth. The other reason I'm sick is named [girl with autism]. She's sweet and all, but, the other day she blew snot out of her nose and it landed on my arm." [Laughter and "ewww"s from crowd.] It was a tried and true method of getting the audiences attention, and it worked like a charm. After this, I pulled out a copy of my favorite Christmas kid's book from my youth How Spider Saved Christmas [I couldn't find any good links online to show you what the book looks like, or provide a good summary of its story... sorry...] [if you are curious and so inclined, you are welcome to do a Google search on it yourself]. It's a super cute book, and, to tell you the truth, I stole the idea of reading a children's book as a speech from myself [I did a similar thing as my "best man" speech at my little brother's wedding...]. As the book is kind of small, I threw in asides while reading such as, "I know those of you in the back can't see the pictures, but make up your own pictures for the story in your mind..." [this got laughs because it is a VERY teacher-ish thing to say], "How do you think Spider is feeling right now?", and, "What do you think is going to happen next in the story?" It was a big success because all of us that were getting our credentials had said these very things many times, and knew we were going to be saying these things again and again for the rest of our lives.

After the story, I launched into the big "political" portion of my speech [ok, so, yeah, I was probably more prepared than I let on...]. Of course, I don't remember what I said word-for-word, but I know that I started off talking about how, from a young age, I got the impression that teaching was a noteworthy profession because it was one of the jobs you could have in the Game of LIFE. Except, I said, that no one really wanted to be the teacher because they made the least amount of money on payday. Oh, and I threw in something about how the Game of LIFE is incredibly heterosexist - this comment got a lot of blank stares - yeah, I wasn't really sure what it had to do with teaching either... But, I trudged on, talking about how with a President who wants all kids to be automatons; schools closing; being at schools that have TINY libraries with outdated books; schools not having money to have Art, Music, or P.E. programs; little to know respect for the teaching profession in general; schools not having enough money to hire nurses; increased importance put on test scores rather than individualized progress, etc., that we are going to be fighting an uphill battle in our chosen profession. It was a call to rally the troops, and I hope that it was inspiring. Unfortunately, I ended the speech and passed it on to the next speaker without ending on the "up" note that I had intended. The most important part of the speech [the part that I forgot] was to say, "And, I am encouraged and hopeful that we can turn things around because I have met some amazing people in this program; people who I know will be teachers that teach for change and social justice for all." Yeah, the most important part, and I forgot to say it.

Wednesday [December 3rd] was: Day 3

I forgot to mention that, on Tuesday, no one got the "Thumbs Up Award". At the end of every day, Miles picks a student who has done something good that day [it's all about positive reinforcement] to receive the "Thumbs Up Award". Well, on Tuesday, at the end of the day, someone yelled out, "What about the 'Thumbs Up Award'?" I said to them, "You know what? No one is getting it today because no one really deserved it today. Everyone has been kind of crazy and squirrelly and acting-out just because Miles isn't here. It doesn't matter that Miles isn't here because I am here and I am your teacher this week. You need to show me the same respect that you do to Miles." [It was all very similar to the speech that I gave Monday morning...] So, no one ended up getting the "Thumbs Up Award" on Wednesday either.

I don't have much written down, in terms of notes, and I don't really have much memory regarding the events of Wednesday. The only notes I have read: "sink or float MESS, again", "no thumbs up", and something about one of the kids' grandmother's coming in to do an art project with us [making Christmas tree decorations from recycled materials - to be hung on a Christmas tree at City Hall...] and there not being any notice and it being "confusing". I'm telling you, Wednesday is a blur. Oh, but I do remember that it rained.

The one thing that I do remember from that day is that, after school, I let Miles know about the existence of this blog. Yeah, all through the semester I kept thinking, "You know, I should tell Miles about this blog - make sure it's OK with him, get his approval, etc.," and I never did until one of my last days in the classroom. Immediately, he got online on the computer in the classroom and read the last couple of posts up to that point. He was laughing, but clearly shocked. I'm not sure if he has gone back and read everything from day one, but he seemed sure that he would find some mean words about him - my "true" feelings - which is ridiculous, because I only had positive things to say about him all semester. [I guess I should go back and reread everything just to make SURE that I haven't said anything malicious...]

Oh, and I forgot to have the kids get their "take-home" books on Wednesday, too. But, hey, what are books good for, anyway?

Here I am. That was quite a cliffhanger, eh?

I will attempt, using my scattered memory and scrawled notes, to recount the events of the last couple weeks of Student Teaching.

The wait is over.

Let's start with the dreaded SOLO WEEK.

Monday [December 1st] was: Day 1

...and, at the end of the day, when the last kid left the room, I really wished that I didn't have to come back on Tuesday. Talk about exhaustion. Whew, zero energy left and only one day was down. It didn't help that I'd been hacking up phlegm balls all weekend so that my throat was raw, and so I stepped into the room in the morning with very little energy.

The day started out a little crazy, but, by the time everyone was seated and reading from the books that they had just chosen from the Reading Center for the week, it was calm and quiet. Ahh.

HOWEVER, that didn't last very long, as there were kids in that class that started testing me right off the bat, and it was really getting on my nerves. I told Miles that I felt like I was barking at kids all afternoon. I didn't want to do that everyday, and I felt like I shouldn't have to tell the same kids over and over to sit down and shut up. It was like I was starting to reprimand certain kids like I reprimand our cats [or is it the other way around? I can't be sure...] [Macon, get off the table. Macon, get off the table. Macon. I TOLD you to get off the table. You KNOW you're not supposed to be on the table.].

One of the most important things that needs to happen everyday at school [especially because Bryant doesn't have a formal P.E. program] is RECESS. For a student's sanity, and, most importantly, a TEACHER'S sanity, those kids need to be able to run around for a good half-an-hour. Of course, Monday it had to rain. STUPID RAIN. The kids were forced to stay inside all day, and this just jacked them up even more. And, consequently, it dragged me down even more.

Speaking of water, for some reason, I thought that it would be a good idea to introduce a "Sink or Float" Science center choice for afternoon center time. Naturally, the loudest and most spastic girl in class chose that center. Water was EVERYWHERE. She wasn't doing "Sink or Float", she was doing "Throw Stuff in a Bucket of Water and Splash the Water Around". Not quite what I had in mind.

Oh, and every week, on Mondays, Miles has the kids pick out a book from a designated box of books. These are take-home books that the kids get for the week, in the hopes that someone at home will read it with them. Well, naturally, I just ran out of time on Monday, and the kids didn't get their take-home books that day.

Tuesday [December 2nd] was: Day 2

Before school started, I was told that there would be a substitute in the room for the afternoon. Miles had a mandatory meeting on school grounds that took up the whole afternoon, so the school was obligated to get a sub even though I was there. Even though I felt unsure, it was important to me that I be alone in the classroom that week - I just knew that if there were too many other adults, I would get self-conscious and probably use the other teachers as a crutch instead of handling everything myself. Already, I had told a couple of the resource people who come into the classroom a few times a week that their services wouldn't be needed that week [I mean, I was nice and said, "Hey, would it be OK if I got to experience the class all by myself this week?"]. And, I always had the para-professional that worked with the girl in the wheelchair in the room all day - couldn't ask her not to come everyday. Actually, I was SO lucky to have her in there all week - she was a lifesaver on more than one occasion. At the end of each day, I felt SO BAD for her though, I just KNOW that she must of been praying that the week would go by faster, and that she was taking 4 or 5 aspirin when she got home every night - cursing my name with each gulp of water. So, anyway, the sub was there for the last half of the day. Thankfully, she pretty much just stayed out of sight.

As I mentioned, in addition to not having a formal music or art program, Bryant doesn't have a formal P.E. program. "Well," I thought, "it's my solo week, and I can pretty much do whatever I want. And, I SHOULD pretty much do whatever I want - including, trying out some random things." I had asked Miles the week before about P.E., and he said that there was a "guide" of sorts that the teachers could use if they found the time to teach P.E. on their own. I looked through the guide, and saw that a lot of the latter lessons counted on the teacher having done a lot of the earlier lessons - pushing teamwork, coordination builiding, etc. - so, I thought that I would start from the beginning. Luckily, the first couple of lessons in the P.E. book were just the kind of thing that I was hoping to do - BEANBAGS.

SO, right after afternoon recess [instead of doing Science...], I walked the kids through the room and then right back outside to another part of the playground - grabbing the basket of beanbags and some hula hoops along the way. The first thing that I had the kids do was stand in a circle, and then I passed a single beanbag to the person on my right who then passed it to the person on their right, etc. until it made its way back to me. [TEAMWORK!] The kids didn't seem all that thrilled yet. Next, I passed a beanbag to the person on my right, and when it got a quarter of the way around the circle I passed another beanbag to the person on my right. And, when THAT one got a quarter of the way around the circle, I passed another beanbag to the person on my right. Pretty soon, I was passing bags as fast as I could and THE KIDS WERE LOVING IT. Laughter filled the schoolyard. It was a joyous moment. After giving a thoroughly detailed speech about what one SHOULDN'T do when they get their own beanbag [an essential thing to do when teaching...], I passed out a bag to each kid. Naturally, there were many shouts of "Can I have a [name a color] one?" I was so proud of myself when I just kept on walking around the circle. Although I wouldn't let anyone else dictate the color they got, I, of course, gave the girl with autism an orange beanbag [well, I wanted her to participate...]. I had the kids put the beanbags on their heads, and then try to bend down without having the bag fall. This was repeated in various forms [on the back of your hand, on your shoulder, on your forehead, on top of your foot, etc.], and, again, the kids REALLY got a kick out of it. The girl with autism seemed to get the most joy out of it - she was giggling harder than I had ever seen her giggle. Joyous moment.

We moved from the circle to having the kids toss their beanbags into hula hoops that were laying on the ground. Of course, even though I went to the trouble of explaining what we DON'T do with the beanbags, there was one kid who didn't seem to understand how serious I was about these rules. He was tossing his beanbag up to see if the clouds would catch it, so he ended up sitting to the side for awhile. Watching everyone else have fun, while he was sidelined, was the ULTIMATE punishment for him. About 10 minutes later the sub said, "Don't you think he's had enough?" I looked over to the benches - yeah, I'd forgotten ALL about him - and he was on the verge of absolute tears. I invited him back to join in the fun, and he reluctantly rejoined the group.

The throwing into hula hoops was getting a bit out of hand on the whole, and we still had a good 10 minutes on the clock, so I decided to bring the group back to a circle and "wind down" with some more of the beanbag passing excercise. Do you understand what I just said? Here it is again, with some words italicized: So I decided to bring the group back to a circle and "wind down" with some more of the beanbag passing excercise. What was I thinking? Sure enough, an afternoon activity that started out to be a great deal of fun quickly degenerated into hellish chaos. I started passing the beanbags around the circle and the kids went NUTS. Some were hoarding and then hurling the backlog at their neighbor, while others were just HURLING beanbags. A couple of kids ran up to me to grab bags from the basket - naturally, I screamed out, "I didn't tell ANYONE to come get beanbags!" As one girl was bringing her head back up from bending down to the basket, another girl [that was hovering above the basket] lowered her head and SLAM. CRYING! SCREAMING! And, the one kid that had been the most defiant that week was MOCKING and LAUGHING AT the girl who suffered the worst from the collision. I'd had it. "[Boy's name][let's call him "M"], GO SIT DOWN! I'M SICK OF YOUR [here, I came SO close to saying "shit"... dangerously close] STUFF!" That was it. Even though we had a couple more minutes of designated P.E. time, we were going inside. Fun was over.

During Math time, the girl in class that Miles and I think is "haunted" was sitting behind a table - a place where she knows not to sit. I said to her, "Hey, come out from behind the table. I'm afraid that you won't be able to see the calendar from there." She gave me a blank stare. "Why don't you come sit over here where you'll be able to see better?" Blank stare. "Ok, I've asked you nicely twice to move. Now, I'm telling you to come sit over here." Blank stare. "[Name of girl], MOVE OVER HERE!" Blank stare. And, I just moved on. Probably the wrong thing to do, but she clearly wasn't about to move, and I wasn't about to pick her up and move her.

Funniest Quote of the Day: Outside at afternoon recess, the brash and loud girl in class came up to me and said, "I have a headache". I told her that she could go back to the room and get a drink of water and lay down on the couch in the Reading Center, or just take it easy and sit down outside for awhile. She said she'd be OK, and, as she walked away, muttered, "I must be getting my period..." [You can't make this stuff up, folks.]

Oh, and we ran out of time again, so the kids didn't get their take-home books on Tuesday either. I'm horrible, eh?

And that's only the first two days...

This is one of my biggest problems - procrastination. I put things off. I put them off further. I put them WAY off even more. More things pile up. Pretty soon, it all just seems so overwhelming, and like there is no hope of ever completing all the stuff that has piled up, that I DO NOTHING. [I sure hope no one that might possibly give me a teaching job in the future sees this post...]

I've got a start on a draft of what actually went on the last couple weeks of Student Teaching, including the solo week. The whole thought of coming up with something so witty that perfectly encapsulates the mood and feeling of those last few weeks is quite daunting. So, I'm putting it off. And putting it off further. Even WORSE, I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. In fact, I'm COMPLETELY BORED. I've signed up for 3 classes this Spring, but those don't start until February 3rd. And, yeah, you might be saying to yourself, "Um, I thought Eric said that he was done - a fully credentialed teacher ready for his first classroom." Well, I DID get my credential. HONEST, I did get it. This isn't like telling my parents back in 1994 that I was graduating with my B.A. in Education from Indiana University... when really I just kind of silently dropped out. No, I CAN TEACH NOW. I do have my Credential [dated January 5, 2004 - an intial letter arrived last week! The actual credential will take 8 MONTHS (!) to get processed. Someone reminded me that since the Governer will sign the credential, I will have mine signed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Although I SO didn't vote for him, it will still be kinda cool to say that my credential is signed by The Terminator...], but now I have 5 years to "CLEAR" my credential. To do that, I need to take a Health class and a Mainstreaming class. Since I really don't want to walk into a classroom mid-year [plus, I'm still hoping to have the opportunity to take Miles' job in the Fall], and I can still get Financial Aid, and a state Grant, I'm taking those two classes this semester. Just to be COMPLETELY 100% done. Oh, and because I had to have 7 units to get the Grant, I'm taking a 1 credit [sit down for this...] Yoga class. Yeah, I am evolving.

But, for right now, as I mentioned, I'm bored. So bored, in fact, that one of my new favorite shows [which I get to watch EVERY DAY] has become Starting Over. In case you don't want to follow the link provided, the site describes the show as "Everyday Women, Reinventing their lives. Together... Under One Roof." Yeah, it's basically MTV's Real World for middle-aged women [or, as Brian likes to call it, "A reality soap opera"], AND I LOVE IT, despite the fact that I'm probably not their targeted demographic. Although, these days I'm probably closer to the Starting Over target viewer than I am to the Real World target viewer - and I still watch that one religiously.

Keep reading. The last few weeks of Student Teaching are still somewhere in my head [though fading fast] and I DO have a draft that I'm working on and will post soon.

Promise.